Kiwi Speak

Having had a couple conversations with Kiwis during our month in New Zealand, we’ve picked up on some words, vernacular have you, of these people that are unlike anything we’ve heard in our years as Americans. These words sound way cooler with a Kiwi accents, but their humor knows no border—here are some of our favorites (subject to change).

(Insert Adjective)-As: Sweet as, good as, fun as, tasty as, dodgy as… the list goes on. As I mentioned before, this term is used an overwhelming amount, and leaves you wanting more… one more word. Oi, I sussed out the dance floor and there you boys are, dancing like idiots, and was like, these bros are funny as!

Suss Out: Suss = Check, as in, check out. Might as well go suss it out, see if any trolls in the club would be interested in a quick pash.

Pash: A mouth kiss. In America we say hook up, which is in fact, quite vague, where as to pash is to only mouth kiss and perhaps heated snuggling. Charlie! I heard you had quite a pash last night…(OHHHHHH, all the boys go wild!) She was keen aye?

Keen: Down. Are you keen = are you down. This could stem from drinking beers, to intercourse with the opposite sex. Ah bro, we’re about to go get on the piss, you keen?

Piss: (Pronounced piece) Getting on the piss = getting loaded. Piss is the common term for beer/booze, which is certainly different. Let’s go to the piss shop, buy some piss, get on the piss, and suss it out from there… prolly end up at Macca’s aye!?

Maccas: McDonald’s  house of beef. The golden arches responsible for obesity in America, and free wifi in New Zealand. I’d be a liar if I told you I haven’t brushed my teeth in a Macca’s bathroom during a long roadie…

Is This Us?: Are we going to, well you know… do it… lol. Instead of saying something crude, Kiwis say, “Is this us,” to inquire on the potential of their night. “Well, it’s been a decent night aye (opens bedroom door, casually looks into companion’s eyes)? Is this us?”

Soft Cock: An endearing term you’d call a friend who’s being a, how you say, “Little bitch.” Ya kiddin’ me mate? Stop being a soft cock, finish ya drink—you’re getting on the piss with the boys tonight.

Good Cunt: I know what you’re thinking, “Woah woah woah! Tossing a hard C? In this economy?” Despite growing up knowing the C-word is a big no no, the term ‘good cunt’ or even cunt, is what you call one of your best mates… It’s also one of those words you get away with, when you have an accent. Ah bro, I love getting on the piss with him, such a good cunt!

Good Bitch: See above—except a good bitch is someone who does something nice for you. No one in the US would appreciate being called a ‘good bitch’ after buying a round of sodas, or helping a friend move some furniture, but things are different here. Aye, you really are a good bitch. I would’ve been stranded if NEITHER of us could change a flat! 

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